When to lock it in the vault 🔒, when to name names

Although our LIFT Collective is taking a big break to Reflect, Rest and Refuel from 16 December 2021 through to 31 January 2022 (with the exception of our monthly executive leadership coaching programs) I’ve pre-recorded our regular Little LIFTs to make sure I can stay connected with you.

“I demand The Cone of Silence”

We (well, those of us who are slightly older and watched Get Smart after school 😝) may joke about The Cone of Silence but do we actually honour this?

How do you know what’s okay to share and when? How do you determine what’s gotta stay in the vault, no matter what?

What happens when we share information that actually belongs to someone else, when we don’t have permission to do that?

When I was training with Dr Brené Brown to become a Certified Daring Way^TM Facilitator, this was a quite a confronting point for me!

You see, I was (guilty of ✋) doing this amongst my sisters: assuming I could share something from one sister with another sister… just because we are all sisters.

But belonging to the same relationship group doesn’t mean that one member’s level of confidentiality is the same as another’s. I know that sounds logical but, for me, it was an eye-opener — any of my other family members too! I can say with certainty this has been a key to increased trust over the last six years in our family.

Of course, the same goes for workplace teams… maybe more so.

And what’s more damaging: a major breach of confidentiality 💣 OR the continued little leaks and seepages 💦 of confidences that lead to the corrosion and erosion of trust over time?

What do you do, in those times, as a leader, when you feel you have to share something with someone (for example, a breach of policy or protocol or an issue of wellbeing)? Do you respectfully share confidential info that you feel must be disclosed… or not?

The answers to these questions can be complex, especially when I believe leaders need to  model vault-keeping for others. Leaders need to demonstrate that they consciously work to intentionally keep confidences and that means being aware of the situations that can create unintentional sharing (yes, the aforementioned seepages; AND: open plan offices, you know what I mean!)

There’s also the ambush effect that happens when there’s someone on your team who deliberately breaches confidential information. I have sooo much to share on this and, I promise, I try to keep it simple.

So, please join me as I address these confidentiality conundrums in Vault, the next video instalment, the V in my BRAVING, (Re)building Trust series (👆 at the top of the post).

Enjoy, stay cool and…